I need a new boyfriend

How can I feel so shit when I actually feel loved, not cheerished, but loved…
Well maybe that’s the key to the whole thing…. Perhaps I should feel cherrished, wanted, desired
I’m pissed off; well, I’m not really pissed off, I’m actually fucked off… I see no desire of intimacy, no desire of even trying  from his side and here I am wondering what the fuck I’m doing in this relationship.
Yes, I’m having fun with him; yes, I’m having fun with him ……. All this could be compared to having a good friend, a best friend… But one doesn’t have sex with a best friend which now that I think of it, it’s applicable to the relationship I’m having now: we have fun, we share common things, we think alike but we don’t have sex so we’re really like best friends
Maybe I’m sick… But somehow I don’t think so

We’re on holiday but all we do is participate in all the hotel activities, go snorkeling and no thought about having sex…. I just want to die right now…
Maybe I’ll just carry on drinking and fall asleep and forget everything till I wake up
Damn! And to top it all, my mini vibrator is not working. Shit!!!

And I can’t use my big one just so that I don’t dammage his ego


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