Gallery

An Ox

I know I should have asked when his birthday was… now I only know approximately the year he was born; it’s 1961 but the thing is…. he might be a rat or an ox depending on whether he was born after February or before that.

I think he is an ox, fo If he’s an ox… then that’s a triffle tricky….

  • Family orientated… that’s good I suppose as I’d like a family but I’m a very sociable person and I like talking with lots of people and going out on picnics.
  • Prefers conformity and convention = well, I’m not a conformist, I always want more and as for convention, what can I say… I like girls too and wouldn’t mind sharing one with a guy.  My house is not what people call a conventional home for a start, there are books everywhere… Some people call me hippie when I’m not a hippy..  Hippies are people who go around smoking pot, have long hair covered in flowers, smile permanently and show the sign of peace with their fingers…. they don’t go around tearing the competition’s posters off walls and dropping them at their office door, no.  They don’t go around threatening to throw paint on the competition’s posters.  (I had to do that because the competition was covering my own advertising posters in town, so I warned them last year, I warned them this year and when I found out they didn’t heed my warning, I simple went around tearing all their posters, crushing them, stuffing them in my car and then bundling them on their office doorstep.) Gosh, that made me feel good… and bad… and mafia like too!  I need a leg breaker of a boyfriend!
  • Here I go again about the qualities of an ox.  Loves hard work and stable family life = that’s good.  Hard work is important, I keep brainwashing my daughter about the merits of hard work…. sometimes she makes me wonder though, barbies for example, the only hard work they do is selecting what colour nail varnish to use before going out and they seem to get everything without the normal people hard work notion of what hard work is….. Maybe I should reconsider my position in life and encourage my daughter to be a barbi girl… but I will carry on telling her that she has to study first and at least be a clever barbie not a dumb barbie….
  • More things about oxes. Oxes are calm and placid = well, that’s good but it can turn into boring if nothing irks an ox…
  • Oxes are reliable, sincere and generally cool and patient = that’s good.  You have to be cool and patient with me, very patient.
  • Oxes are not jealous = well, that’s very good, very good indeed.  I hate jealous guys.  I met one not too long ago, also from a dating site and I had only seen him three times and when one day I told him on the phone thatI was going to have some snaks with some friends from an activities page he told me: “Hey!  Don’t chat up anyone!”    and that really put me off him.
  • Oxes are not romantic but can be passionate = well, the romantic side is nice.. I like flowers and surprise weekends and surprise whatever but if being passionate means making love, or fucking outdoors, or in a bar or anywhere else but the traditional bed, then that’s great.  Beds were made for sleeping, right?
  • Oxes are stubborn = well, I’m quite stubborn myself but I tend to be a bit of a diplomat, I’ll agree with you if in a corner, but then I’ll do whatever I had in mind originally.
  • Oxes bear grudges for a long time = well, that’s no good, no good at all, specially when I’m quite forgetful unless you really cross me really badly.

My date went as well as it could have been.  I wonder about the size of his dick.

 

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